Richard Renaldi

¥7,300 JPY

I Want Your Love, by Richard Renaldi

Richard Renaldi made his first self portrait in 1978 when he was ten years old. Standing in the bathroom of his family's house in suburban Chicago, dressed in a rugby shirt and white chinos, arms folded, a young boy calmly appraises the camera. He parts his lips around his front teeth and ventures a hesitant grin. He waits for the timer to click. Thus begins the work of self-examination that will occupy him for the rest of his life.
He continued documenting his childhood through the 1970s and 80s. He photographed the view out his bedroom window and balloons in the sky. He photographed his newly divorced mother applying lipstick in the mirror, her gaze fixed only on herself. He documented his teenage body as adolescence came into view with its new possibilities of sensuality and self-expression. He realized he wanted to be a model.
When he met his first boyfriend, an older man, while still a minor, he photographed him too. As he entered college and traveled the world, he brought his camera everywhere. He photographed his body prolifically as it developed, aspiring to the physique of Atlas. He could not will the fantasy into being. He studied himself with the camera for answers, as if the muscles he desired could be conjured from crystals of silver halide. He met handsome young men in Mexico City, New York, and Paris. He moved further into adulthood, the camera still present. The young boy of ten now lost beneath the accumulating layers of experience and love’s false starts. He got HIV but his health was well-managed and the illness not defining. He used steroids and the muscles came easily. He transformed himself into the object of desire he always wanted to be and he entered a relationship, at the age of thirty, an abiding love.
Decades go by. Wisdom accrues, or maybe it doesn’t. Such a thing is largely dependent on the weather and humidity. In the book’s final image, the young boy of ten looks at the camera. But now he is fifty years old. He is naked, standing alone in a beautifully lit, white room with a pitched roof and an unfinished floor. Youth has passed. He looks hesitantly into the camera. He waits for the timer to click.


w18.9 x h25.2cm
176 Pages
59 Images(b/w) 103 Images(color)
Hardcover partly clothbound
Full color Offset
First edition
Published in 2018
ISBN 978-4-908512-22-3


I Want Your Love, by Richard Renaldi

まだ未成年だった頃に、初めての恋人となる年上の男に出会うと、彼のことも撮影した。大学に入り、世界中を旅した彼は、どこへでもカメラを持参した。アトラスのような体格になることを夢見て、成長していく自分の体を幾度も撮影した。彼は空想を現実にすることができなかった。答えを求め、カメラを使って自身を研究した。まるで自らが切望する筋肉を、魔法のように銀塩の結晶から出せるとでもいうかのように。彼はメキシコシティやニューヨーク、パリで、ハンサムな若い男たちと出会った。 さらに大人になっても、彼の側にはいつもカメラがあった。10歳の少年は、今では幾層にも蓄積された経験や愛のフライングの数々に押しつぶされて、途方に暮れていた。HIVに感染するも、彼の健康状態は良好に保たれ、病によって決定づけられることはなかった。ステロイドを使用すると、簡単に筋肉が増強された。彼はかねてから望んでいた姿へと変身し、30歳になると恋愛関係を始めた。それは揺るぎない愛だった。


w18.9 x h25.2cm
176 ページ
59 イメージ(白黒) 103 イメージ(カラー)
Published in 2018
ISBN 978-4-908512-22-3